Thursday, March 27, 2008

Regarding Yesterday's... Wait For It

VIDEO TRAINING! I forgot to mention that yesterday, along with filling out papers, I had the privilege of viewing the New York & Company Official On-Boarding Videos. These included such exciting and fun filled segments as:

-OUR GOALS FOR 2007-
Not to worry, the assistant manager ASSURED me that the goals for 2008, read by the endearing creepy uncle founder, would be here soon!

-HOW JEWELRY IS MADE-
I learned a lot from this segment. Like how many different types of metal the gold jewelry is dipped in, what a cuff bracelet is, and that the entire 'hand be-jeweled jewelry' staff is entirely made up of depressed and over made-up (probably for the visiting cameras) Hispanic women.

-SELLING BATH PRODUCTS-
If a customer won't let you spray shit on them, explain to them that you are going to put some on your OWN hand, do so, and then shove it into their face and force them to smell it. They've GOTTA want it now! Note: Every customer, no matter what their previous objections, will mention at least THREE TIMES how great whatever scent they sampled is. If they fall short or especially if they DON'T MENTION THE FRAGRANCE AS ALL, get a manager immediately. This customer is a secret terrorist.

-HARASSING PEOPLE INTO SIGNING UP FOR THE CREDIT CARD-
Not actually what the segment was called, but there is no way in FUCK that I am going to harass some poor person in a dressing room until they deny it AT LEAST THREE TIMES. That's what the fucking Male Salesman (aka trying to increase diversity and the myth that men would ever work there) told me.

If you want to see all this (And More!) just apply for a job at your local New York & Company and the cinema magic will haunt your dreams for decades!

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