Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oh Oh!

And Friend 1's nephew has a crush on me. And, okay, he's like 17 and that would make me a pedophile, but he's cute and funny and a cool dudeizzle. And Friend 1 has explicitly banned each of us from hooking up with the other. Hahahaha. Saaad.

But funny, considering that on Saturday night he made out with Len and on Sunday morning he asked Friend 1 for MY number.

Score one for Snarkypants!


Just BUSY! The apartment [henceforth known as Chez Yuppie... hahahaha] has ONLY been fully set up since yesterday.

So right now I'm relaxing before I go to Vintage Job and work all day.

Annndddd... Uhhhh...

I think I kinda sorta have a date. Tonight.

With a never before mentioned on here CraigsList guy. We're going to The Comedy Club. Fun...?

And no. I still haven't hung out with Real Boy. Because we are both retarded hahahaha. But that's part of his appeal.

And the other night, Friend 1 and another friend of mine


This 'another friend' needs an introduction. She is one of my bestest friends in the entire world. Due to some constant grounding (her parents are fascists but now that she's 18 they can't do shhhiiit hahaha)and disagreements with a couple of my ladies in The Foxy Foursome, we were not able to see each other for a looong time. But now she is FREE! and we are constantly hanging out and I love it. She gets the only nickname I could ever call her by: Risk.


we sitting around, Hookahing and Happinessing and we ended up pulling out my box of fortunes (yeah, fortune cookie fortunes. I know, I'm stupid. I collect pointless bullshit. I also have boxes full of soda bottle caps and sea glass.) and asking it questions (and oh how I hope it becomes a regular activity. Sooo funny) and Friend 1 asked 'what will come of the Snarkypants and Real Boy situation?'

And the fortune she pulled?

":) Happy life is just in front of you. :)"


Maybe I shouldn't be going out with this other guy. Maybe I should cancel and go out with him instead.

You know, I'm just gonna be upfront. 'I could go on a date with this guy or on one with you instead. Which would you prefer?' Something like that.

GAHHH I'm gonna do it right now.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Grown Up.

Dear friends,
I am blahging this from Friend 1's laptop. We are making Mediterranean (too busy to care about spelling right now) burritos in our downtown amAzing apartment. Too grand.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

So, Okay, I Get Caught Up In The Moment Sometimes

And daydream about this guy that I only know as text on a screen.

And the random Facebook picture, but still.

I don't know. At least in this conversational environment, I feel some clickage. Like maybe there is some possible strand of silver lining I can cling on to that I'll find someone I can be with for real.

All from CraigsList. Hahahaha.

It's not like with Ex-Perfect Guy. That was like I WANTED it to work, cuz he was what I pictured myself with. Real Boy (oh god he just earned a blahg nickname) and I actually seem to have compatibility.

Oh, god. We just had a big old argument again. This kid amuses me to no end.

Ohhh god. Please don't tell me that I like him.

I've never even met him. I'm soooo weiiiird.

Frosty Flake Sundae

Vanilla ice cream (Vanilla Bean works too)
Chocolate syrup
Frosted Flakes

Scoop ice cream into a bowl. Chop up a few strawberries and stir them into the ice cream a little. Add some chocolate syrup. Top with a handful of whole Frosted Flakes. Eat with a spoon. Smile!

The cereal doesn't get soggy! I know it sounds weird but it is FUCKING DELICIOUS!

Trust me, it's worth trying.

Monday, May 12, 2008


There's been nothing to blahg about lately, really. Friend 1 and I move to our downtown sublet on SATURDAY!, I'm trying to get another jorb down there so I can quit NY&Co. and henceforth not have to worry about taking the bus at 10 at night/getting raped, I've been chatting with another CL boy who may not be what I'm really looking for PHYSICALLY, but he is funny and teases me and it's v. v. entertaining talking to him.

And Tuffy is curable, but it'll cost like five grand. I don't blame Female Unit for being hesitant about going through with treatment. That is a LOT of money. Maybe it would be best to not put her through that and just spoil her rotten and love her immensely (which I already do but will somehow find a way to increase) and let her have happy remaining days in her own home.

I am very conflicted.

And sad. But I'm trying really hard not to think about it and just be excited about being in the thick of Madisonia action.


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

From The Rejected Files II

Subject: What's Shaken Toots???
From: Zac Dorken [Email redacted]
Sent: Tue 5/06/08 11:04 AM
To: Snarkypants
[Picture redacted cuz I'm not THAT big of an asshole]

How's it goin babe? My name is Zac and this is my application to be your fwend! I am 21 years old, originally from Minneapolis, I work full-time, play part-time. Guitar, bass monopoly, pretend, you name it, I play it. I have one tattoo, one piercing, and one shaved head. I listen a ton o tunes, punk rock, funk, all sorts o stuff. I dunno, What else would you like to know?? I'd love to hear from ya!!"

I did not even reply to this. I couldn't get over it. Sooo funny. Sad sad cuz he's either trying to be ironic or he just doesn't get it.

Dorken indeed.

Wow. You know, re-reading that makes him not sound so bad. I think I'm gonna write him back hahahahaha. Even though I don't think he's cute. Bald=guhhhh.

But I fucking HATE being called 'babe.'

I hate 'hun' even more.

Note: The entire original reason for this post is because I wanted to do the whole dork/Dorken thing.

I am so fucking stupid.


It is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST! I feel that I have officially stuck to a blahg and will be able to continue to do so. I am happy enough with life so be able to write -frequently- about it.

And you lovelies will get to read every bit. :]

AND ANNOUNCEMENT! FRIEND 1 AND I HAVE SNAGGED A SUBLET DOWNTOWN FOR SUMMER! I am going to explode into a cloud of rainbow glitter and unicorn stickers.

We must christen it.


This Summer is going to be amAzing. Best. Ever.

And thank you for those who read this. I promise more zany adventures and retarded emotional rollercoaster rides! Yayyy!


Sunday, May 4, 2008

A Facebook Conglomerate

If they wanted to, Facebook could eliminate a shit ton of interweb competition. They're basically gonna kill the free version of AOL Instant Messenger. How easily could they take things over? People become ADDICTED to Facebook, and since they're there so frequently, if they could just do all their interweb-related business, they would. Think about it. Online Facebook shopping. Personals. Movie reviews. Dictionaries (maybe it's just me that uses those uber frequently) and Encyclopaedias. IT WOULD TAKE OVER! The majority of online businesses would be wiped out by the sheer laziness (and obsessive-compulsive Facebook checking) of people.


BUT LET IT BE KNOWN, if that happens, I get all credit and 5% of the spoils. 'Kay, Facebook? Thanks! :]


So I hung out with Perfect Guy again, and unfortunately, he needs a name change.

He is a funny, cute, Indie rocker boy and a cool person... but we have no chemistry. Like, I would be totally down for hanging out and being friends (even though I already have friends and aren't really looking for them...) but there is no romantic connection.

So he will now just be known as Guy.

He is perfect for someone, just not me.

Awkward Note: His older brother is into me. He's funny and nice and whatever... but I am not attracted to him physically, and once again there is no chemistry. That doesn't make me shallow, does it?

No. It doesn't.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Oh Boo.

The apartment we wanted is gone :[

I wanted it sooo baaaddd. Oh well. We'll find another place. It won't be as cool, but we'll make sure it's awesome.

Working Girl

So Vintage Store opened yesterday! It was FUCKING AWESOME! I love the people, the location, the clothes, the store (oh my God it's sooo cute. It looks AMAZING), and my BOSS! She is basically what I aspire to be (after I hippie around for awhile). She is so cool.

I also interviewed at Kitsch Store. I think it went well and I came off v. v. poised and responsible, yet quirky and friendly. He said if I pass le first draft I will be called back for another interview. To become an actual employee, you have to go through a long process with trial periods and shit, but I think I can do it, that I'd like the job, and that it would be worth it.

I also put in an application to Urban Outfitters. There is a message on my machine asking me to call and schedule an interview :] so I figure I will probably get one of those jobs, get my awesome juicy summer sublet with Friend 1 (we have a showing todaaaay!), and have the best summer EVER.

It's so nice to have something to look forward to.