Thursday, December 18, 2008

I'm A Milk Carton Mugshot Baby

And you wouldn't even recognize me anymore.

But I'm back. The Parental Units bought me internet for Christmas.


You can cancel the Missing Persons ad.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Oh Jimmy. The Blahgs Not Dead, She's Just Sleeping

So, biggest news first:

I QUIT NEW YORK & COMPANY! Hahahaha, I did it very unprofessionally cuz I knew I wouldn't get a good reference from there anyway. I changed my voice mail to say I had moved to Portugal and was never coming back, and that I wouldn't be in to work that day or ever again.

I know. I'm cool.

But I'm getting loads of hours at Vintage Store though and I LOVE IT!!! I made my first display the other day hahahaha.

Real Boy took me to dinner and came over the other night and stayed til the wee hours of the morning doing makeouts with me. I told him I'm a virgin just for fun. That way, if we ever fuck it'll be funny hahaha.

Another promising young lad found me on CraigsList. He's 19 and seems AWESOME. I gave him my number and told him to text me.

Have I mentioned Real Boy is more like... uhhhh. Real Man?

Um. He's 26.

Yeah.

ANYWAY, downtown living is amAzing, Friend 1 and I don't want to kill each other yet, and life is generally noice.

I NEED TO GET A BETTER WIFI RECEIVER SO I CAN START UPDATING FREQUENTLY AGAIN.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oh Oh!

And Friend 1's nephew has a crush on me. And, okay, he's like 17 and that would make me a pedophile, but he's cute and funny and a cool dudeizzle. And Friend 1 has explicitly banned each of us from hooking up with the other. Hahahaha. Saaad.

But funny, considering that on Saturday night he made out with Len and on Sunday morning he asked Friend 1 for MY number.

Score one for Snarkypants!

NOT DEAD!

Just BUSY! The apartment [henceforth known as Chez Yuppie... hahahaha] has ONLY been fully set up since yesterday.

So right now I'm relaxing before I go to Vintage Job and work all day.

Annndddd... Uhhhh...

I think I kinda sorta have a date. Tonight.

With a never before mentioned on here CraigsList guy. We're going to The Comedy Club. Fun...?

And no. I still haven't hung out with Real Boy. Because we are both retarded hahahaha. But that's part of his appeal.

And the other night, Friend 1 and another friend of mine

Pause.

This 'another friend' needs an introduction. She is one of my bestest friends in the entire world. Due to some constant grounding (her parents are fascists but now that she's 18 they can't do shhhiiit hahaha)and disagreements with a couple of my ladies in The Foxy Foursome, we were not able to see each other for a looong time. But now she is FREE! and we are constantly hanging out and I love it. She gets the only nickname I could ever call her by: Risk.

Play.

we sitting around, Hookahing and Happinessing and we ended up pulling out my box of fortunes (yeah, fortune cookie fortunes. I know, I'm stupid. I collect pointless bullshit. I also have boxes full of soda bottle caps and sea glass.) and asking it questions (and oh how I hope it becomes a regular activity. Sooo funny) and Friend 1 asked 'what will come of the Snarkypants and Real Boy situation?'

And the fortune she pulled?

":) Happy life is just in front of you. :)"

NO SHIT. WITH THE FUCKING SMILEY FACES AND EVERYTHING.

Maybe I shouldn't be going out with this other guy. Maybe I should cancel and go out with him instead.


You know, I'm just gonna be upfront. 'I could go on a date with this guy or on one with you instead. Which would you prefer?' Something like that.

GAHHH I'm gonna do it right now.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Grown Up.

Dear friends,
I am blahging this from Friend 1's laptop. We are making Mediterranean (too busy to care about spelling right now) burritos in our downtown amAzing apartment. Too grand.

Loooooove,
Snarkypants

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

So, Okay, I Get Caught Up In The Moment Sometimes

And daydream about this guy that I only know as text on a screen.

And the random Facebook picture, but still.

I don't know. At least in this conversational environment, I feel some clickage. Like maybe there is some possible strand of silver lining I can cling on to that I'll find someone I can be with for real.

All from CraigsList. Hahahaha.

It's not like with Ex-Perfect Guy. That was like I WANTED it to work, cuz he was what I pictured myself with. Real Boy (oh god he just earned a blahg nickname) and I actually seem to have compatibility.

Oh, god. We just had a big old argument again. This kid amuses me to no end.


Ohhh god. Please don't tell me that I like him.


I've never even met him. I'm soooo weiiiird.

Frosty Flake Sundae

Vanilla ice cream (Vanilla Bean works too)
Chocolate syrup
Strawberries
Frosted Flakes


Scoop ice cream into a bowl. Chop up a few strawberries and stir them into the ice cream a little. Add some chocolate syrup. Top with a handful of whole Frosted Flakes. Eat with a spoon. Smile!

The cereal doesn't get soggy! I know it sounds weird but it is FUCKING DELICIOUS!

Trust me, it's worth trying.