Alas.

So I hung out with Perfect Guy again, and unfortunately, he needs a name change.

He is a funny, cute, Indie rocker boy and a cool person... but we have no chemistry. Like, I would be totally down for hanging out and being friends (even though I already have friends and aren't really looking for them...) but there is no romantic connection.

So he will now just be known as Guy.

He is perfect for someone, just not me.


Awkward Note: His older brother is into me. He's funny and nice and whatever... but I am not attracted to him physically, and once again there is no chemistry. That doesn't make me shallow, does it?

No. It doesn't.

Oh Boo.

The apartment we wanted is gone :[

I wanted it sooo baaaddd. Oh well. We'll find another place. It won't be as cool, but we'll make sure it's awesome.

I Still... Don't Have The Words.

So Tuffy has a lymphatic tumor. 90% chance it's malignant.

So my baby basically has cancer.

I have no idea what we're gonna do. I'm just being as sweet to her as possible cuz I have no time frame yet of what's going on.

I'm so fucking scared.

My Luck Is NON-EXISTANT.

Guess who I just ran into at the mall while I was working?

Liam. AFUCKINGGAIN.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Discontent

I feel completely bloated and fat and gross. I hate it. I hate my period and getting cravings for food and then gorging myself.

I hate that I have to go to work soon. And that I'm still sick. And that I totally wasted this nice weather day sitting in the house doing nothing.

Blarrrrrghhhh.

I Can't Believe It

Len and I just were cruising down town for a bit.

We saw Liam.

Walking with That Girl.

I can't believe my bad luck.

But like I said, even though I am better than him and don't want him and would never ever be with him,

I still am jealous.

Yarrr. I want a new, pretty, wonderful boy.

Speaking Of Dogs...

My beautiful, beloved, and somehow not mentioned til now Yorkshire Terrier, Tuffy, went to the vet yesterday. Shots, blood drawn, the works. It was just standard checkup shit but of course it hurt her. Now she's slinking around, ears down, and shaking all the time cuz it probably still aches. I feel so terrible.

And?

The vet found a lump in her neck. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'd do if it's actually something. I'm praying it's not. I love her too much.

I seriously don't know what I'm going to do when she dies. I'll probably lose my shit.

She's already nine years old.

I'm Sick As A Dog

So I've been basically working non-stop. And I'm super sick. Well, not super. But I do keep coughing up phlegm and my nose is terrible and my throat hurts and I have man-voice and I feel quite crappy.

My tootsies are getting quite the workout standing nine hours a day. So on Saturday, I was supposed to work four to nine-thirty, but NY&Co. called at ten asking me to come in one to six. But if the other chick didn't show at four thirty I'd have to stay til close. I said okay.

Of course the dumb bitch (who I SWEAR has some sort of mental deficiency... I'm not just being mean. I actually think she may be slightly challenged) never showed (apparently today is her last day so I guess she didn't care. Damn selfish retards) so I had to stay.

Then I got sick. And had to work more.

AND NOW I HAVE MY FUCKING PERIOD AGAIN. I guess last time was 'spotting' but it still fucking sucked. At least this time I'm actually supposed to have it.

After work Saturday, I hung out with Friend 1 and Eric, another friend. We got drunk in a school parking lot and talked about life (it sounds really losery and lame and creepy but it wasn't it was fun). And sex. Lots of sex talk. I ended up making a booty call to John (I KNOW I KNOW but I swear he really is history) but he was in bed or some shit. I'm glad. I was drunk and being stupid. I don't want him.

I've just realized the articles or clothing I'm wearing for pajammies are both white... with weird 'racing stripes.'

I am a sad case. Hahahaha.

Please Discount Mohawk John

What. A waste. Of time.

We never do anything or talk about anything meaningful or laugh. It's just lame. We smoked and he got all tired, like he always does, and wanted to sleep. Fucking BORING.

FUCK that. I'm not answering his calls any more. I told him so. To his face. Hahahaha.

He wasn't even a very good fuck. He was more like an A- regarding his hands hahahaha. And enthusiasm can't make up for actual skill.

He is totally deleted from my life.

The Bus

DIDN'T. FUCKING. COME. I sat outside freezing my ass off for 45 minutes. So now I called a cab. Another twelve bucks, down the drain.

But waiting at the bus stop was kind of peaceful. Lonely, in a good way. I was glad there was no one else there. And the newly returned birds and their chirping provided a great harmony to the Death Cab For Cutie I was listening to.

Off to work I go, ferrealz this time.