Wednesday, 9 28 AM, February 27th 2008
Yes, I used to do it a lot. No, not so much more anymore.
Last night's fiasco is just a bit of drama. People have this fear of self-mutilation. It's extremely taboo and gets a lot of attention. Henceforth, I am trying to use it to my advantage.
No, it really isn't that bad. I didn't even bleed.
So don't worry about this.
Worry about THIS with me instead:
"I want you to think long and hard before you give up on going to [University]. Sometimes the window of opportunity doesn't come again. I regret that I didn't get a 4 year degree. It's becoming more of a necessity with each passing year. It's a baseline almost like the high school diploma in years gone by. I don't want you to regret later that [your brothers] got to go to college and you didn't. If you aren't sure of just what you want to do in a career, you will be spinning your wheels at [Technical College] taking random classes. It will be no different than high school with a lot of older people trying to retrain for the current job market. I think you would be much more likely to get inspired by a class/professor at [University] than at [Technical College]. Bottom line is that you triple your earnings over a lifetime by having the 4 year degree. Now is the time for you to go if you want support from Dad and I. [Older Brother] graduates this year and we have two years before [Younger Brother] starts. You're still covered by our insurance and we are a few years out from having to worry about retirement. Take it from me, it's a lot easier to get it out of the way now before life adds more distractions.
WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT? I swear I have my life planned out. Not everything is about money, as my Parental Units think. I want happiness, they say having a stable bank account makes you happy. I see where they're coming from
but I don't agree.
Who knows? In 20 years I may regret not going to school, but more likely I'll look back fondly on all the life experiences I'll have (if I get to do what I want with my own life... which is rare). I'm just not a 2.5 kids, picket fence kind of chick. This whole 4 years idea is strangling me.
Fun Fact: I live in Wisconsin. I was born and raised in Madison, basically the only place worth going in Wisconsin (besides Door County, a family vacation destination which I love). I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN WISCONSIN. And if I have to, I at least want to be in Madison.
I want to live in California. I don't care how many of you natives say it's just a state. It's a change of pace for me, and somewhere where my writing could go places besides a local newspaper.
My counselor appointment is in twenty minutes.
I'm going to throw up.