Oh Oh!

And Friend 1's nephew has a crush on me. And, okay, he's like 17 and that would make me a pedophile, but he's cute and funny and a cool dudeizzle. And Friend 1 has explicitly banned each of us from hooking up with the other. Hahahaha. Saaad.

But funny, considering that on Saturday night he made out with Len and on Sunday morning he asked Friend 1 for MY number.

Score one for Snarkypants!

NOT DEAD!

Just BUSY! The apartment [henceforth known as Chez Yuppie... hahahaha] has ONLY been fully set up since yesterday.

So right now I'm relaxing before I go to Vintage Job and work all day.

Annndddd... Uhhhh...

I think I kinda sorta have a date. Tonight.

With a never before mentioned on here CraigsList guy. We're going to The Comedy Club. Fun...?

And no. I still haven't hung out with Real Boy. Because we are both retarded hahahaha. But that's part of his appeal.

And the other night, Friend 1 and another friend of mine

Pause.

This 'another friend' needs an introduction. She is one of my bestest friends in the entire world. Due to some constant grounding (her parents are fascists but now that she's 18 they can't do shhhiiit hahaha)and disagreements with a couple of my ladies in The Foxy Foursome, we were not able to see each other for a looong time. But now she is FREE! and we are constantly hanging out and I love it. She gets the only nickname I could ever call her by: Risk.

Play.

we sitting around, Hookahing and Happinessing and we ended up pulling out my box of fortunes (yeah, fortune cookie fortunes. I know, I'm stupid. I collect pointless bullshit. I also have boxes full of soda bottle caps and sea glass.) and asking it questions (and oh how I hope it becomes a regular activity. Sooo funny) and Friend 1 asked 'what will come of the Snarkypants and Real Boy situation?'

And the fortune she pulled?

":) Happy life is just in front of you. :)"

NO SHIT. WITH THE FUCKING SMILEY FACES AND EVERYTHING.

Maybe I shouldn't be going out with this other guy. Maybe I should cancel and go out with him instead.


You know, I'm just gonna be upfront. 'I could go on a date with this guy or on one with you instead. Which would you prefer?' Something like that.

GAHHH I'm gonna do it right now.

Huffah!

It is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST! I feel that I have officially stuck to a blahg and will be able to continue to do so. I am happy enough with life so be able to write -frequently- about it.

And you lovelies will get to read every bit. :]

AND ANNOUNCEMENT! FRIEND 1 AND I HAVE SNAGGED A SUBLET DOWNTOWN FOR SUMMER! I am going to explode into a cloud of rainbow glitter and unicorn stickers.

We must christen it.

WE ARE SIGNING THE LEASE TOMORROW!

This Summer is going to be amAzing. Best. Ever.


And thank you for those who read this. I promise more zany adventures and retarded emotional rollercoaster rides! Yayyy!

Love,
Snarkypants

Alas.

So I hung out with Perfect Guy again, and unfortunately, he needs a name change.

He is a funny, cute, Indie rocker boy and a cool person... but we have no chemistry. Like, I would be totally down for hanging out and being friends (even though I already have friends and aren't really looking for them...) but there is no romantic connection.

So he will now just be known as Guy.

He is perfect for someone, just not me.


Awkward Note: His older brother is into me. He's funny and nice and whatever... but I am not attracted to him physically, and once again there is no chemistry. That doesn't make me shallow, does it?

No. It doesn't.

Working Girl

So Vintage Store opened yesterday! It was FUCKING AWESOME! I love the people, the location, the clothes, the store (oh my God it's sooo cute. It looks AMAZING), and my BOSS! She is basically what I aspire to be (after I hippie around for awhile). She is so cool.

I also interviewed at Kitsch Store. I think it went well and I came off v. v. poised and responsible, yet quirky and friendly. He said if I pass le first draft I will be called back for another interview. To become an actual employee, you have to go through a long process with trial periods and shit, but I think I can do it, that I'd like the job, and that it would be worth it.

I also put in an application to Urban Outfitters. There is a message on my machine asking me to call and schedule an interview :] so I figure I will probably get one of those jobs, get my awesome juicy summer sublet with Friend 1 (we have a showing todaaaay!), and have the best summer EVER.



It's so nice to have something to look forward to.

First Encounters Of The Perfect Boy Kind.

Hanging out with Perfect Guy:

We (me, my friend Shutterbug and her Cousin) were downtown for Photogging Adventure (it was really super fun! We got smoothies and stalked boys and talked shit and took really fun [hopefully they turn out well] photos). We met him and his Broseph and their friend downtown.

We went back to their house, got stoned, listened to them play acoustic guitars and sing (they are soooooo goood. SO FUCKING GOOD. Snaps. Perfect Guy's Band... I might tell the name later but probably not, to save anonymity.), played classic Nintendo (SO FUN), and got fried rice (he served it up to everyone in bowls with spoons. So cute. And he totally got us seconds too). It was grand. His brother and his two friends I met were really chill and funny and bomb. Cousin totally wants Broseph now hahaha. And he... is v. v. rad. So cute, funny, sarcastic. I don't know if there's really chemistry there yet or if I Like him, but I would very much like to hang out with him again and find out.




Pee Ess-- I texted him and said 'blah blah fun, you're an Indie Dreamboat (I KNOW I KNOW. I'M FUCKING STUPID), should do it again even if you're not interested. And he totally said he enjoyed my company and we should definitely do it again. But at the end he said 'We'll see' without a period or whatever. So it's hanging in my head like an unfinished thought.

I'm guessing it's in reference to being interested. And I'm okay with that. I don't want another 'I like you, I like you too, let's date, *fuck*(or *fuck*, let's date, depending on the physical attraction. I know, such a tart). I want to get to know him, and if I do like him, do things RIGHT for once. A little courtship, a chance to develop REAL feelings before getting too physical and making the entire relationship about sex. I know. She grows up so fast.

I'll keep you updated, duckies.

420 (FINALLY)

SO 4-20 was GREAT. I hung out with The Foxy Foursome allll day.

First, they came over in the morning for some delightful wake-and-bake action. Brownie and I shared a screwdriver cuz we are that hardcore. She also rolled the saddest joint ever (named Lolita) that with our mad skillz we managed to smoke. And in the midst of Lolita, I decided we should pass a bowl around simultaneously.

Then we maxed out on junk food and decided to go DOWNTOWN!

I stopped by one of my favourite hippie stores and got my very own and FIRST PIPE! It is PERFECT for me. It's small and pink (but with a decent-sized bowl) and has little cherries on the side. I named her Jubilee (get it?! Also, ish in honour of the X-Woman) and it was definitely love at first sight.

Then we went to Ian's Pizza where they had free brownies at 4:20. They were okay, but being stoned made them supa delicious. We also ran into some other friends and it was grand.

Then we rented some movies and watched The Doom Generation (which I have seen before and is completely twisted and I LOVE. Snaps, Greg Araki) and smoked more and then The Foxy Foursome dispersed.



Then, at like 1:30 in the morning, Liam and I hung out.

I swear to god it would have been amAzing fun if I had been with anyone else. We got blitzed and broke into Olbrich Gardens to explore. It was completely beautiful in the moonlight, so surreal and quiet. Very Garden Of Eden. And of course it was lost on him. He got all paranoid cuz he's a fucking idiot so we left. Then on the way home, he asked some question (I don't remember exactly what it was) about our strange relationship, and I was completely honest and told him I think he's a huge asshole and I keep trying super hard to be friends and he's a douche cuz he never puts forth any effort. I asked him what his take on the situation is.

He said he didn't have one.

He had absolutely nothing to say for himself. When he dropped me off, he said 'see you later.' I responded 'no, you won't' and slammed the door and walked away, leaving him yelling something about me slamming things.

I know. I keep saying I'm never gonna waste time on him again. BUT THEN I DO. But honest to Christ, that was the last time. I keep thinking if we got a chance to talk, things would be good. But he'll never talk, and he's not worth spending time with. He's not the guy I used to know. Now he's just a big unmotivated, egomaniacal asshole who isn't worth the pixels on this page to write about.

There may be more Liam quips and unsavory interactions between the two of us in the future (at parties and whatnot... I am NEVER going to knowingly hang out with that bag of fuck ever again), but this is officially

The Last Chapter Of Liam In Snarkypants Land.

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

I almost forgot!

From this hippie baby and her merry band of bleeding heart recycling Liberals to yours.

I feel like planting a tree. Too bad it's so shitty out.

HAPPY HIGH DAY!

It is 4-20, everyone! And being the hippiebabyflowergirl that I am, I am going to spend it stooooned and happy with my ladies Friend 1, Death, and Brownie.

Yesterday was amAzing, sitting on a dock with the girls, talking about life and drinking screwdrivers, but I shall talk about it tomorrow when I let you know what The Foxy Foursome does to celebrate today!

Loooove!

I'm Sick As A Dog

So I've been basically working non-stop. And I'm super sick. Well, not super. But I do keep coughing up phlegm and my nose is terrible and my throat hurts and I have man-voice and I feel quite crappy.

My tootsies are getting quite the workout standing nine hours a day. So on Saturday, I was supposed to work four to nine-thirty, but NY&Co. called at ten asking me to come in one to six. But if the other chick didn't show at four thirty I'd have to stay til close. I said okay.

Of course the dumb bitch (who I SWEAR has some sort of mental deficiency... I'm not just being mean. I actually think she may be slightly challenged) never showed (apparently today is her last day so I guess she didn't care. Damn selfish retards) so I had to stay.

Then I got sick. And had to work more.

AND NOW I HAVE MY FUCKING PERIOD AGAIN. I guess last time was 'spotting' but it still fucking sucked. At least this time I'm actually supposed to have it.

After work Saturday, I hung out with Friend 1 and Eric, another friend. We got drunk in a school parking lot and talked about life (it sounds really losery and lame and creepy but it wasn't it was fun). And sex. Lots of sex talk. I ended up making a booty call to John (I KNOW I KNOW but I swear he really is history) but he was in bed or some shit. I'm glad. I was drunk and being stupid. I don't want him.

I've just realized the articles or clothing I'm wearing for pajammies are both white... with weird 'racing stripes.'

I am a sad case. Hahahaha.

I Know, I Am A Terrible Blahgstress

QUESTION: Who called in twice to work during her first week of employment?

ANSWER: Me.

QUESTION: Who almost got fired after her boss called her house and talked to her Female Unit who informed The Boss that there was in fact no family emergency, I don't know where Snarkypants is, and she wasn't sick on Wednesday?

ANSWER: Me.

I freaked out. I thought I was gonna get bitched out by The Boss. Who is five feet tall and SCARY. But she didn't yell at me, I made good excuses, and it's all peachy keen now.

I am such a failure at this whole 'being employed' thing.

But I DID get mah first pay check! Something like $99.34. Not bad for a week's worth of work where I basically open fitting rooms for people and fold shit. Although some woman yesterday basically made me a personal shopper for her daughter. I was nervous at first cuz I'm basically fashionably retarded, but it worked out fine.

BUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS ABOUT THE SEX? AM I RIGHT?

It was my second time with him. His name is Mohawk John, although he no longer has a mohawk. I also almost ruined his band cuz I was flirting with him (lead vocals, backup guitar) and the lead guitarist. He was the one who forgave me. Plus, I met him first (on MySpace... I make terrible choices that usually end up great hahahaha) and liked him more.

ANYWAY,

Finger work: A, almost got me off.

QUESTION: Who has never had an orgasm?

ANSWER: Me. My life is sad. I've tried everything (except a vibrator... WHICH I WANT) and it doesn't work, no matter what my mental state or how relaxed I am. It's all very depressing.

Mouth work: D, didn't really do anything for me and I ended up cutting him off and telling him to just FUCK ME. He tried to argue about foreplay but I won.

Actual sex: B-, it was pretty decent, but ehh, kind of boring. Whatever.

Plus both of our stamina is reallllly low.

Overall enthusiasm: A+. The boy tried, he really did. He was all cuddling with me and kissing my forehead and I was just like 'WHERE IS THE SEX?' I am such a dude.

Anyway, I needed layage v. v. badly. So I am pleased.

BUT I WANT MORE!!!

Moving on, Saturday night I hung out with Len and this girl who I know through my ex-boyfriend. She is waaay cool and I hope we hang out more and often cuz I'd like to expand my social circle. Well... meet more boys.

HAHAHAHA.

BUT it is my day off, even though Female Unit is home so I can't do anything fun. IE drugs or have boys over for teh s3x. Even though the only boy I could call is Mohawk John and he is at work. I also CAN'T beat this one stage of Amateur Surgeon, Act II on adultswim.com.

DAMN AND BLAST!

I promise to try to update every day with mah shit instead of massive posts about myriad things.

Vintage Job Interview

It went really well. The owner is fly and her one year old son is adorrrrable.

The only thing is, it's working one to three days a week. I kinda wanted this to be my full time job. So if I get it, I AM SO TAKING IT, but I have to keep NY&Co. too.

Oh well, it'll be soooo worth it.

I GET PAID TOMORROW!!!

Also, Friend 1 and I, along with our girls Death and Brownie (Brownie is Friend 2 from Rainbow Party) are house hunting downtown! WOO!

I swear my thoughts are really jumbly today. Bear with me.

Boy Zone: This boy Mohawk John (who coincidentally no longer has a mohawk) wants to play with me today. I am down. He's tall and goofy and Snarkypants needs some lovin'. I haven't seen much of him for a very long time. He always ends up passed out somewhere. But oh well. We've never actually hung out one-on-one so I'm kind of nervous. Also, sex-wise, I couldn't be bothered to shave my legs (or anything else) this morning, so I have, what, a week's worth of fur? Oh well. Embarrassing, maybe slightly, but more convenient to just go au natural? Definitely.

I need to go unwiiiiind.

The One That Got (Read: The One I Sent) Away.

Okay, the story I am going to tell you has hells of backstory, but I shall fill you all in eventually. It's kind of an ongoing thing.

I have this ex. We can call him Liam. Now, we dated AGES ago (fall of sophomore year) and I was a bad girlfriend blah blah dumped him rhubarb rhubarb. Anyhoo, we roll in the same circle of friends and we tease each other, me sometimes getting out of hand... cuz that's what I do (he does too, but not as often. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE AT FAULT!). So we have a strange relationship.

SO, Sunday night. Chilling playing Wii at my friends house with some pallies. Liam calls. No one wants to talk to him or wants him to come over so they are ignoring the ringing phone. I decide to be nice and answer. We talk for a bit and then he quite rudely asks me to put someone else on. We were getting along that morning (he crashed at the Rainbow house for no real reason) so this pisses me off. So I say, 'No one else wants to talk to you. That's why I answered the phone' and I hang up on him.

He calls back on another friend's phone and asks to talk to me. He proceeds to yell at me, bleh bloo blee I never want to talk to you again, you are so mean, whatevs whatevs. I play the defense card and hang up again.

Then I feel bad so I leave a voicemail apologizing, saying how I get really defensive around him and I don't know why.

I totally know why. Kind of.

A little while ago, there was this couple of months where I was completely convinced that Liam was my soulmate. I don't know, we just challenge and match each other really well. It's bizarre. But anyway. So FINALLY, we hang out one on one. And it's lame as fucccck. So I'm like, yeah, totally over it. Which I was. But I still get nervous when I see him and hope he'll talk to me. I always want him to show up at parties I'm at and flirting with him is a blast (except he apparently was flirting with my friend [another of his exes, the girlfriend after me. Both his relationships after me have been super long and serious and he has treated the girls terribly. With my friend, I guess after the fact she realized how he always talked down to her and made her feel bad and do things she really didn't want to do. He cheated on his most recent with more than one girl. Yeah... one was me. But that is a story for another day. I just worry that I screwed him up. We only dated a couple months but he was super nice to me and I treated him like shit... which is once again another story. God. Long set of brackets.] which made me mad [Read: Jealous] and shit).

That was probably the most confusing paragraph everrrrrrrr.

ANYWAY. I called my dude friend cuz I was chilling with some lady friends (yeah, including Friend 1) and he was with Liam. I was trying to get us all together,
1) Cuz we were bored.
2) I wanted to see Liam.
3) He listened to the message I left him and forgave me.

ANYHOO, I tell them I'll call after we get done eating at Noodles & Company. We go and eat and sit there talking about how rad it would be if a group of cute guys walked in. Just then, this car pulls over and this dude starts getting out. I'm like 'hoooly shit guys, LOOK!' And so we all look and decide he's a babe. And I'm sitting there GAWKING AT HIM and he turns around.

It's Liam. How did you know?

Anyway, the lads joined us early, and we all had fun. Smoked some happiness, Hookahed on my porch, took a walk in the woods, just chilled. Then everyone wanted to leave

AND HE SAID HE WOULD TOTALLY STAY AND HANG OUT WITH ME

but he'd have no way home so he couldn't.

Yes, ladies and gents, I do not have my license. I am a sad excuse for a nineteen year old.

But yes. So that is what has been up with him the last couple days. I'm v. v. confused, I really don't think he's interested (though my friends do... I think they're just trying to be nice) and I really don't want to deal with being insecure and worried about one stupid boy all the time. So what now? I have no blooming idea.

Just a tidbit to leave you with:

Friend 1's sister, whom I am friends with, apparently told Friend 1 that 'the only guy she could think of that could handle me' is Liam.

Oi vey.

Saint Patrick Was Ascetic.

So my friends and I boycotted that Saint Pattie's party in lieu of our own fun. We got eight of our awesomest homies together and hookahed in my friend's van (it was too cold and rainy to go to the park, unfortunately). Then someone pulled out a bottle of Kangaroo Wine (Yellowtail, for those who aren't me and insane) and we passed that. It was very nice and I was in a very happy spot.

Half the group defected cuz they promised people they'd show up (lots of people wanted us there too but we STAYED STRONG) so the rest of us went and smoked some happiness. The three ladies that remained after the others got cold ended up singing M2M (90s Norwegian pop) under a streetlight in the middle of the night.

Prettttty fly.

Rainbow Party Results:

Uhm. For me at least, it kind of blew. I was so stressed over everything, I planned by myself, I cleaned by myself, I decorated by myself. It SHOULD have been good.

But dude whose house we were using took it upon himself to invite his retarded friends who messed up the place and dude expected ME to clean it up. First of all, I had planned on cleaning up anyway, but it's bullshit when the people who were ACTUALLY INVITED BY THE HOSTESSES didn't make the mess. Secondly, the house is fucking DISGUSTING, Post-party or not. I cleaned the hell out of the place pre-party, doing things that he should've done himself. The place is ALWAYS nasty and I single-handedly made it tolerable. LASTLY, HE WAS BEING A DICK ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. He kept throwing shit on the floor saying 'you're just going to sweep it up later.' You can't sweep up nasty alcohol soaked fruit. Shit sticks to the floor. You have to go after it by hand and I am not about to do that just cuz he felt like being an asshole.

So- He gave me an ultimatum. On my Facebook Wall of all places. Something like 'COME CLEAN OR YOU'RE BANNED FROM MY SAINT PATTIE'S PARTY.' Fuck that noise. I don't have any desire to see his selfish ass or go to another lame party (his version involves getting a keg and just telling people to come over. Woo, fun times).

Sidenote: Throughout the whole planning thing he was a douche and a half. He said we could start soaking the fruit for the punch on Thursday, then changed his mind and said we'd do it Friday. Friday rolls around and he decides he's going to throw an impromptu party for this one guy and buys a keg. He's 'so busy' 'planning' that we can't do it. Saturday, it turns out that NO ONE FUCKING DRANK THE BEER so he wants to sell HIS cups at OUR party. Let me make this clear: there is no way in fuck I can actually afford this party. I spent ALL the money I had expecting to make it back (Side-Side Note: Friend 1, Friend 2, and I threw this party. Friend 1 ended up spending NO MONEY on ANYTHING and ended up being the one to divvy money between Friend 2 and me. She gave HER ten bucks more than she spent, and me ten bucks LESS than I spent. So I came out in the negatives. And I can't even say anything to Friend 2 cuz she bought booze and I bought decorations and candy and everything else but she'll be all 'booze is more important' and then douche who owns the house [who is also fucking Friend 2] will agree with her and then everyone will gang up on me as usual. Fuck that. But more about the bogusness of Friend 1 soon.). He ended up giving us the keg for whatever retarded reason.

Next on the list of complaints...

Ah Friend 1. How sad you make me. And you call yourself my best friend?

Please note that I have forgiven her and everything is 'good' now. It still hurts to be betrayed but whatever. But a girl still needs to vent.

Friend 1 gave me the screen name of Some Guy, a friend of hers. We started talking a couple weeks ago and he was coming to the party. I was super worried he wouldn't like me or find me attractive but super excited he was coming. So he gets to the party. We talk a bunch and maybe flirt (I don't even know how to distinguish flirting anymore) and we were both crashing there so in my head I was like, sweet, I'm gonna get some.

Wrong again, Little Snarkster.

We are sitting on a couple mattresses (Some Guy, Friend 1, another chick friend, a dude friend of Some Guy, and I) and Friend 1 is next to Some Guy. I keep looking from him to her trying to hint, and finally I just whisper 'you should switch places with me.' Her response? 'I don't feel like it.' BRILLIANT!

So, the five of us are laying on two mattresses side by side. Well, basically there are two couples, each one on a mattress, and me laying in the crevice. Oh oh, but it gets better (worse)! Not only do chick friend and Some Guy's friend start kissing and like stroking each other, FRIEND 1 AND SOME GUY BEGIN FUCKING MAKING OUT. RIGHT NEXT TO ME. WHEN SHE KNEW I WAS INTERESTED. This is the same friend who I told that I might actually like Some Guy. She told me to go for it. Yeah. Thanks.

AND, I repeatedly ASKED THEM TO STOP. I have no idea how many times I threw around the term 'inconsiderate friend.' But did she listen? Did she stop? Of course not. And I mean they were having LOUD, SLURPY makeouts with audible groping. With me, the one who was supposed to be set up by my best friend with the guy she is currently macking on THE SAME FUCKING MATTRESS.

Other chick friend was WAAAAAAAAAY more considerate. She kept apologizing and they definitely kept their makeouts to a minimum.

It's not even so much that there were people around me making out while I wasn't (okay, that was a factor. I am completely lonely and that just made it ten times worse) but that someone who is supposed to be my BEST FRIEND would betray me and knowingly hurt me like that. It isn't even about the guy; it's about what a shitty, inconsiderate friend she is.

But wait! There's more!

I was like a quarter of the way asleep, and all of the sudden, the mattress starts moving. Rhythmically. Up and down.

Yeah. My best friend. The guy she set me up with that she knew I was into. Fucking. Right next to me.

Yup.

Other grievances: She didn't pay for ANYTHING AT ALL, yet ended up taking the extra booze home and shafting me on getting my money back. That morning when we were buying decorations and shit, she just wouldn't stop ripping on me and saying how hostile I was (which I am, but I wasn't in the situations where she claimed I was) which got House Owner Douche to join in (they used to date too) which got Friend 2 involved. So it was basically everyone against me. Again. I was fighting back tears that entire day. And then I got to go to Douche's house and clean by myself because no one would help me. Yay! She also did nothing for the part except set some fruit and gummy worms in booze and mix one thing of punch. Oh wow, so hard.

So yeah, didn't have fun, didn't even get drunk, best friend slept with the guy she knew I liked, didn't make my money back, expected to clean up EVERYTHING (and now that I didn't, I know I'm basically banned from every party he ever throws. Boo hoo). Fuck this party. I basically spent the entirety of yesterday afternoon (til I was rescued by some homies and Wii) crying.

I didn't even get to see my own pinata, let alone hit it or get candy from it.

Other people had fun so I guess that's all that matters.

Also, I had the most colourful outfit by far. I think I looked really cute. Not that it mattered.

And that was The Rainbow Birthday Party Extravaganza.

THERE'S The Call I Was Expecting.

So my mom just called, blah blah, making a mistake, you'll be poor, etcetera etcetera and all that jazz. Lots of tears (on my part of course... that's what overly emotional girls like me do) and stuff, and after lots of escalated voices and warnings that life will be hard, she gave in again. So I'm still coming home for forever this weekend. Thank god.

Anyhoo, since I'm here anyway, I'll recount the ORIGINAL call conversation.

I was already crying (hurrr) and she was super understanding. She told me she didn't want me to be unhappy and that I could come home. I was surprised how cool she was with it-- which obviously she wasn't, judging by that most recent phone call. But yeah, that's it. I was pleased and taken aback by her compassion. I mean, I love my mom, but The Units are very practical people.i figured they wouldn't understand.

Oh well, I'll SHOW them.

And the dedication in my first book will be to myself-- 'For being the only one who always believed in me.'

Hey, just because I'm emotional doesn't mean I'm not a vindictive little bitch.

But I probably won't actually use that dedication. Probably.

ANYWAY-- As soon as I got off the phone (from Time #1) I Facebooked my friend (yeah... I'm a coward and I admitted it in the message about eighty times) and told her I loved her and she and my friends here are wonderful, but I can't stay here and be happy, let alone thrive (something about this place gives me major writer's block. I feel completely suffocated).

My small group of friends came over and told me they weren't mad and they just wanted me to do what is best for myself and they'll miss me but they understand.

See why I love them so much?

But yeah. Male Unit (dad) is flipping shit about the situation, natch. But too damn bad for him.

As of right now, things are still GO!

I promise a happy little anecdote for the next post.

Currently I Am

Eating mini muffins and drinking out of a half-gallon jug of milk
Sitting in my lofted bed with the butterfly comforter and sheets
With my three stuffed friends I always sleep with
And my brand new pink piggy finger puppet named Dickens
Watching Tom Goes To The Mayor
About to smoke more happiness
With my pink lighter (Pinky) that my friends and I acquired on Car Adventure (more on that later)
Out of an unnamed pipe (and name suggestions?) that was given to me (handed down, as it were) From my best friend
Who got it from her ex-boyfriend-turned-friend, who is my friend too
A good friend of mine who actually broke it in with her and me, smoking out of it for the first time Only days after meeting her because we bonded so quickly

I just spent a good thirty seconds trying to scratch a period off the screen cuz I didn't realize I typed it.

Now to go smoke with my animal friends.