Tuesday, March 4, 2008
And For The Record...
I know these posts are kind of boring right now, but I promise they will get livelier. I swear to all of you hypothetical readers that there is more to my delightfully cynical life than I have revealed so far. Just give it time, people.
THERE'S The Call I Was Expecting.
So my mom just called, blah blah, making a mistake, you'll be poor, etcetera etcetera and all that jazz. Lots of tears (on my part of course... that's what overly emotional girls like me do) and stuff, and after lots of escalated voices and warnings that life will be hard, she gave in again. So I'm still coming home for forever this weekend. Thank god.
Anyhoo, since I'm here anyway, I'll recount the ORIGINAL call conversation.
I was already crying (hurrr) and she was super understanding. She told me she didn't want me to be unhappy and that I could come home. I was surprised how cool she was with it-- which obviously she wasn't, judging by that most recent phone call. But yeah, that's it. I was pleased and taken aback by her compassion. I mean, I love my mom, but The Units are very practical people.i figured they wouldn't understand.
Oh well, I'll SHOW them.
And the dedication in my first book will be to myself-- 'For being the only one who always believed in me.'
Hey, just because I'm emotional doesn't mean I'm not a vindictive little bitch.
But I probably won't actually use that dedication. Probably.
ANYWAY-- As soon as I got off the phone (from Time #1) I Facebooked my friend (yeah... I'm a coward and I admitted it in the message about eighty times) and told her I loved her and she and my friends here are wonderful, but I can't stay here and be happy, let alone thrive (something about this place gives me major writer's block. I feel completely suffocated).
My small group of friends came over and told me they weren't mad and they just wanted me to do what is best for myself and they'll miss me but they understand.
See why I love them so much?
But yeah. Male Unit (dad) is flipping shit about the situation, natch. But too damn bad for him.
As of right now, things are still GO!
I promise a happy little anecdote for the next post.
Anyhoo, since I'm here anyway, I'll recount the ORIGINAL call conversation.
I was already crying (hurrr) and she was super understanding. She told me she didn't want me to be unhappy and that I could come home. I was surprised how cool she was with it-- which obviously she wasn't, judging by that most recent phone call. But yeah, that's it. I was pleased and taken aback by her compassion. I mean, I love my mom, but The Units are very practical people.i figured they wouldn't understand.
Oh well, I'll SHOW them.
And the dedication in my first book will be to myself-- 'For being the only one who always believed in me.'
Hey, just because I'm emotional doesn't mean I'm not a vindictive little bitch.
But I probably won't actually use that dedication. Probably.
ANYWAY-- As soon as I got off the phone (from Time #1) I Facebooked my friend (yeah... I'm a coward and I admitted it in the message about eighty times) and told her I loved her and she and my friends here are wonderful, but I can't stay here and be happy, let alone thrive (something about this place gives me major writer's block. I feel completely suffocated).
My small group of friends came over and told me they weren't mad and they just wanted me to do what is best for myself and they'll miss me but they understand.
See why I love them so much?
But yeah. Male Unit (dad) is flipping shit about the situation, natch. But too damn bad for him.
As of right now, things are still GO!
I promise a happy little anecdote for the next post.
I DOTH DECREE
Tuesday, 6 46 PM, March 4th 2008
Dropping Out Of College
An 18 year old who desperately wants OUT of college.
becomes
Snarkypants
Muddled ramblings of the spastic, sarcastic, and utterly fantastic.
A Blog is born!
Dropping Out Of College
An 18 year old who desperately wants OUT of college.
becomes
Snarkypants
Muddled ramblings of the spastic, sarcastic, and utterly fantastic.
A Blog is born!
Roommate Example:
So I'm laying on the couch watching teevee and she leaves. I decided to switch to my loft bed. She comes back in.
She's with two of her retard friends and sees The Disney Channel is on (Hannah Montana-- fuck you haters, that show is adorable) and turns to them and says in her high, annoying little bitch tone 'She watches this allll daaay.'
First of all, Cuntasaurus Rex, I do NOT watch it all day. I can't. IT'S NOT ON ALL DAY. Okay okay, taking this literally. But seriously. All she does is drink and act like a slut and giggle. Yeah, that is much better than watching (henceforth supporting) a budding young actress that is actually a positive role model for girls.
I hate the bitch. I want to chainsaw her arms off and beat her to death with them.
I've decided I'm stealing something of hers when she leaves.
She's with two of her retard friends and sees The Disney Channel is on (Hannah Montana-- fuck you haters, that show is adorable) and turns to them and says in her high, annoying little bitch tone 'She watches this allll daaay.'
First of all, Cuntasaurus Rex, I do NOT watch it all day. I can't. IT'S NOT ON ALL DAY. Okay okay, taking this literally. But seriously. All she does is drink and act like a slut and giggle. Yeah, that is much better than watching (henceforth supporting) a budding young actress that is actually a positive role model for girls.
I hate the bitch. I want to chainsaw her arms off and beat her to death with them.
I've decided I'm stealing something of hers when she leaves.
Drawing A Blank
Still haven't thought up a new name... and admittedly haven't really tried. I swear I will... eventually.
So- here is what led up to me finally getting some balls and telling my mother I need to come home. This weekend wasn't bad until Saturday night. I was chilling on a Man Floor of my dorm with my friends. These guys in the hall were wrestling (again, as I had drunkenly joined in and bit the fuck out of some guy's arm [I didn't recall this til the next morning... ahhh, underage drinking. What a joy] the night before) and when I tried to watch, they YELLED at me to leave. Which I did. For like, two minutes, because I am a naturally curious person (see also, disrespecting of people's wishes) when they yelled at me AGAIN. What the fuck. I learned my lesson and went away. That's when I heard my fucking roommate's voice in the hall with the guys.
Sidenote: The Roommate
My roommate is preppy, blonde, and tiny, with HUGE tits. She has the most obnoxiously squeaky, girly voice I've ever heard. We rarely talk, and when we do it's only about how many guys want to fuck her and how many bottles of liquor she polished off by herself the night before. Sweet Jesus, she is the most self-absorbed person I have ever met in my life. Not only that, she's spoiled as sin with about eighty closets worth of Abercrombie shoved in her closet here. And she's still obsessed with getting more.
I want to kill her.
The point is, she is one of those generic lame chicks that guys EVERYWHERE are predisposed to liking for no apparent reason. She is not funny or smart or particularly nice. She barely has a personality to speak of, yet she is fawned over by all who possess a cock. Bullllshit.
So back to my 'story...'
She was welcomed into the hall, where I was not.
This sounds sooo melodramatic, but if you met her (and you have at least as much intellect as a marshmallow [either one big one or a handful of those little ones]) you would understand how much of a travesty this is in my eyes.
Not to sound self-important, but I am not that bad. Reasonably attractive (on some days), able to hold a substantial conversation, pretty witty when I try, people should luuurve to hang out with me. Which my friends do.
But my friends make up like .000033 percent of the student population here, and as stated before, it's not enough.
So I went home, cried myself to sleep, and decided that I was around so many utterly retarded and shallow people long enough.
And I feel that I have whined enough for now, so next time we'll tackle Monday- explaining to my mumsy and college friends that I want (desire, REQUIRE) out!
Sidenote II- Those Taco Bell Fiesta Platters are much too much food for one person. Guuuh I feel like my belly is about to go Mount Vesuvius on my ass. Not like in the diarrhea way. I guess that was a pretty SHITTY metaphor. Bahaha.
So- here is what led up to me finally getting some balls and telling my mother I need to come home. This weekend wasn't bad until Saturday night. I was chilling on a Man Floor of my dorm with my friends. These guys in the hall were wrestling (again, as I had drunkenly joined in and bit the fuck out of some guy's arm [I didn't recall this til the next morning... ahhh, underage drinking. What a joy] the night before) and when I tried to watch, they YELLED at me to leave. Which I did. For like, two minutes, because I am a naturally curious person (see also, disrespecting of people's wishes) when they yelled at me AGAIN. What the fuck. I learned my lesson and went away. That's when I heard my fucking roommate's voice in the hall with the guys.
Sidenote: The Roommate
My roommate is preppy, blonde, and tiny, with HUGE tits. She has the most obnoxiously squeaky, girly voice I've ever heard. We rarely talk, and when we do it's only about how many guys want to fuck her and how many bottles of liquor she polished off by herself the night before. Sweet Jesus, she is the most self-absorbed person I have ever met in my life. Not only that, she's spoiled as sin with about eighty closets worth of Abercrombie shoved in her closet here. And she's still obsessed with getting more.
I want to kill her.
The point is, she is one of those generic lame chicks that guys EVERYWHERE are predisposed to liking for no apparent reason. She is not funny or smart or particularly nice. She barely has a personality to speak of, yet she is fawned over by all who possess a cock. Bullllshit.
So back to my 'story...'
She was welcomed into the hall, where I was not.
This sounds sooo melodramatic, but if you met her (and you have at least as much intellect as a marshmallow [either one big one or a handful of those little ones]) you would understand how much of a travesty this is in my eyes.
Not to sound self-important, but I am not that bad. Reasonably attractive (on some days), able to hold a substantial conversation, pretty witty when I try, people should luuurve to hang out with me. Which my friends do.
But my friends make up like .000033 percent of the student population here, and as stated before, it's not enough.
So I went home, cried myself to sleep, and decided that I was around so many utterly retarded and shallow people long enough.
And I feel that I have whined enough for now, so next time we'll tackle Monday- explaining to my mumsy and college friends that I want (desire, REQUIRE) out!
Sidenote II- Those Taco Bell Fiesta Platters are much too much food for one person. Guuuh I feel like my belly is about to go Mount Vesuvius on my ass. Not like in the diarrhea way. I guess that was a pretty SHITTY metaphor. Bahaha.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Oh My God
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I am so happy that I can't stop crying.
I am going home. This week.
FOR GOOD.
I will give a detailed account of the last couple days in later posts. But right now I have a message:
It seems I have completed the goal of my Blog! I AM GOING TO BE AN OFFICIAL COLLEGE DROPOUT (or Withdrawer or whatever)!!! But lucky for you, duckies (AKA anyone who may be currently, previously, or future-tastically read this delightful piece of text, I am going to continue Blogging!
The URL will stay the original, but the name of the page shall evolve!!!
As soon as I think of something clever to call it.
BAHAHAHA.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I am so happy that I can't stop crying.
I am going home. This week.
FOR GOOD.
I will give a detailed account of the last couple days in later posts. But right now I have a message:
It seems I have completed the goal of my Blog! I AM GOING TO BE AN OFFICIAL COLLEGE DROPOUT (or Withdrawer or whatever)!!! But lucky for you, duckies (AKA anyone who may be currently, previously, or future-tastically read this delightful piece of text, I am going to continue Blogging!
The URL will stay the original, but the name of the page shall evolve!!!
As soon as I think of something clever to call it.
BAHAHAHA.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Currently I Am
Eating mini muffins and drinking out of a half-gallon jug of milk
Sitting in my lofted bed with the butterfly comforter and sheets
With my three stuffed friends I always sleep with
And my brand new pink piggy finger puppet named Dickens
Watching Tom Goes To The Mayor
About to smoke more happiness
With my pink lighter (Pinky) that my friends and I acquired on Car Adventure (more on that later)
Out of an unnamed pipe (and name suggestions?) that was given to me (handed down, as it were) From my best friend
Who got it from her ex-boyfriend-turned-friend, who is my friend too
A good friend of mine who actually broke it in with her and me, smoking out of it for the first time Only days after meeting her because we bonded so quickly
I just spent a good thirty seconds trying to scratch a period off the screen cuz I didn't realize I typed it.
Now to go smoke with my animal friends.
Sitting in my lofted bed with the butterfly comforter and sheets
With my three stuffed friends I always sleep with
And my brand new pink piggy finger puppet named Dickens
Watching Tom Goes To The Mayor
About to smoke more happiness
With my pink lighter (Pinky) that my friends and I acquired on Car Adventure (more on that later)
Out of an unnamed pipe (and name suggestions?) that was given to me (handed down, as it were) From my best friend
Who got it from her ex-boyfriend-turned-friend, who is my friend too
A good friend of mine who actually broke it in with her and me, smoking out of it for the first time Only days after meeting her because we bonded so quickly
I just spent a good thirty seconds trying to scratch a period off the screen cuz I didn't realize I typed it.
Now to go smoke with my animal friends.
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